Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Bad student, wife, mother, employer, that's me.

While in line for my pre-class coffee yesterday, I ran into a girl who has my same biology class, but in the morning. I asked how lab went that day, and she told me they dissected a fetal pig. The smell was worse than the worst spoiled pork dipped in formaldahyde you could ever imagine, and at that idea, I wretched a little. (Just a little, nobody noticed.)

I decided if I was going to make it through the day, I needed to buy some vaporub (to shove up my nose) and a nose/mouth mask to cover the smell. So I drove to the drug store, sat in the parking lot, and had a full-blown panic attack. I had to force myself to breathe, my neck got really tight, and all of my limbs started timgling from either epinephrine or lack of oxygen. I sat there paralized for about fifteen minutes.

Then I decided I couldn't do it. I can handle (sort-of) individual animal parts, but a whole pig, with hair and eyeballs and intestines full of digested amniotic fluid, I can't do. Then I had another panic attack at the thought of having to study even harder to make up for the fact that I was skipping the lab. Fifteen minutes later, when my vision returned, I drove myself down to the Indian Casino, smoked and played the slot machine for an hour and got myself calmed down enough to come home. And then I lied to my babysitter and my husband about it.

I feel like crap.

The End


Blogger Moveelvr said...


Did you ever have Mr. Bongers for biology in high school? We had to dissect a fetal pig. It was disgusting. Had Indian Casinos existed back then I probably would have done the same thing!

5:30 PM  
Blogger The Accidental Housekeeper said...

UM, yeah, Mr. Bongers splashed brain juice all over me the second day of class.

I blame him for the fact that I never pursued biology in high school, and therefore am still a college freshman at 32. Bastard.

7:13 PM  
Blogger Marti said...

Everyone had days like that, (I'm having weeks like that LOL) Don't beat yourself up over it. I think you're pretty damn fine.

4:03 AM  
Blogger Deborah said...

Oh hell, who hasn't blown off a day dissecting a fetal pig for a day at the casino?

S'all good. Can you tell the teacher that you bailed because of your religious and ehtical belief that fetal pigs should reamin in their mother's wombs?

2:04 PM  
Blogger Sunflower Optimism said...

Hey, AH, you are Dr. John's "Link for the Day," so I stopped by to take a look. I saw this post and it made me laugh! We had to dissect fetal pigs in AP Bio, about 35 years ago. I claimed "conscientious objector" status (there was an unpopular war going on at the time), so my lab partner did the dissection, while I watched and documented.

To this day, I have not been able to eat lo mein noodles. Whenever my family orders it I cringe and my kids roll their eyes and say "We know, Mom, it reminds you of fetal pig intestines."

4:45 AM  

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