Goddamn Bear.

I just smoked 2 puffs off of a found cigarette. The shame.

I did manage to get ahold of myself before going further. I am going to pretend it didn'thappen, because I have made it 48 hours almost on half a smoke (early yesterday morning.)

I am doing pretty well, although my school routine tomorrow may make it a little rough.

Everyone who ever told me the secret of quitting smoking has said, "You just decide you're going to not smoke anymore."

There is a lot of truth to that, but I never believed I could do it before. I understand it better now.

It's not about making the decision not to smoke, it's about making about a hundred decisions a day not to smoke. Because I am not smoking (OK, like 99.99% not smoking) I think about having one almost every ten minutes. And more often. I woke up this morning thinking "I AM A NON-SMOKER." That helped a bit. Hot Tamales and banana chips help more. I can tell I've gained weight already. But I don't care. I need to beat this.

Tomorrow is going to hurt, I can tell already. I smoke in the car before and after school, plus between classes. I smoke while I study at school. (I think as the weather gets colder it may help. Can't smoke inside.) Must avoid the smoking areas. Must take many chewy treats. Must fight the bear.