Saturday, October 15, 2005

The Good Fight


Could not fall asleep last night, for the patch, it BURNS. Stings. And itches. Which is possible to ignore during the day, but lying in bed? With no distractions? Not so much.

So far consumed today: 1 pack of gummy lifesavers. One half bag of caramels. One half of one wayward cigarette found in my car, before coming to my senses and destroying it. The nicotine patches are working, it's just the ritual of lighting up I am having a hard time with. I have heard you should change your routine to keep yourself from smoking out of habit. I am finding the opposite is true, I take comfort in my routines. Usually, upon first waking, I would pee, start the water on for my coffee, and head straight to the garage for blog reading and a smoke. Go back inside for coffee , return to garage and smoke again. and again. ad infinitum, ad nauseum. So this morning, I just did the usual routine, sans smokey. It's really kind of OK, if I can ignore that naggy little voice in my head that says "light up! just a puff! won't it feel good?

Later: I will make a list of why I want to quit.
For now I must feed the children.


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