Friday, October 14, 2005

I must Fight the Bear.

But first a quick update:

My perfect score in Biology has been lowered to a 93%. Damn you, organic chemistry.

Said organic chemistry was such a bitch, I missed s few episodes of Bonehead Math and Communications for Dummies (just to keep up with the homework), hence those grades are probably low A's as well.

Real-life actual new friend mentioned before? Totally crazy. Like, paid an excorcist come to her rented house as opposed to moving crazy.How do I keep attracting these types of people? (here's a hint.... L.O.N.E.L.Y. D.E.S.P.A.R.A.T.I.O.N.)

Now, on to the BEAR:

I am a sick sick addict. I will smoke a cigarette if I have pnemonia. I will smoke on a boat, with a goat, in a chair, EVERYWHERE!!

My best smokey buddy in the world just got off the patch. He's smoke-free. He kicked that bitch's ASS. And he smells so minty fresh.

My live-in smokey buddy hasn't lit up in days. Days, people. And he hasn't killed me yet. Such self-restraint. No wonder I married him.

So, it is my turn to fight the bear. I really, really want to be a non-smoker. I think smoking is the last hold my white-trash upbringing has on me. If I can kill the bear, I will be better than most people. In fact, isn't that all that matters?

Just kidding. I still love velveeta and all things processed, and I haven't spent more than $30 on shoes in my whole life. I will be better than no one, but at least I will no longer be a slave to the tobacco industry. (Seriously, I am sooo hooked on the bastards that if? They were illegal? I would totally give blow jobs for cigarettes.)

But, times change, my friends, and so must I. Today I buy the patch. Tonight, before bed, I put one on. And tomorrow, I will be one cranky bitch.

Wish me luck.

UPdate: It is now 10:26 PM. I am so tired I am falling over. Yet I keep procrastinating bedtime. Because after? Bedtime? Nooo smokey. I told you I was sick.


Blogger Moveelvr said...

Ah....just think of the fight the bear and you get many American hamburgers!!

Get you some gum or porn...whatever works....and hunker down...the first couple days are the worst, then after that no biggie.

I'm so proud of you!! Just remember many American hamburgers!!

8:18 AM  
Anonymous Mark A. said...

Nice Blog... I read it when I can. My wife and I both quit smoking two months ago. Between the two of us we smoked over two cartons (sometimes almost three!) of cigarettes and had both been smokers for over 20 years. We weren't just addicted to the damn things; we both liked to smoke.

We went to Fort Erie, Ontario, Canada to a place called Laser Concepts ( and both quit after a 20 minute each (and $175 each) treatment.

The treatment truly worked for us but i still have to say that you really have to want to quit. Check out the office locations.... If the patch doesn't do it for you maybe a flight east might be in order.

Good luck!!! Mark

8:45 AM  

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