Battle of the Blogs....

And the winner is... I don't know yet but the word Profanity, yes, bold and red and everything is right under my screenshot.

Profane? Moi?

I'm fucking offended.

(Heh, I won. How wierd. Go check out my competition.... read down, she's very funny.)

Smokey the beard.

So, it seems Moveelvr is trying to kick the smoky habit. Best wishes to him, I have tried many times and I have not had the mental strength to do it.

I think it's my fault he started in the first place. We were in our senior year of high school, and painfully cool. In fact we were so cool, we were the only ones cool enough to notice how cool we were. So in 1990, it wasn't really cool to smoke, but because we were theatre people, and interested in film, we did. I think he lit up in front of me first, but I had been closet smoking for a while already. We would hop in my car (that I bought from him) and do laps around the campus smoking between classes. Many, many late nights were spent at Denny's smoking and drinking. Sprite for him, Iced Tea for me, he always got my lemon. Whenever we had jobs at the same place, we took our breaks together to smoke.

Then, when we grew up, we graduated to smoking in bars. Then we moved to Seattle and lived together, and smoked out on the fire escape, peering out at our tiny view of Peugeot Sound, past the Buddhist Monastery. Then back to our hometown, in our own apartments, talking on the phone while watching Will & Grace.

After we each met and teamed up with our smoking significant others, our chances to smoke together dwindled. WHen I was pregnant, and could not quit smoking (I know, I suck, trust me, I know) he never judged me, was always supportive when I tried not to, but never kicked my ass too hard when I would steal one of his. Then he moved away , and the smoking was done with other people. Still, visits are always peppered with standing outside to burn one.

Now he's quitting, and I am happy for him. I hate to smoke. Yet I do it still, locked up in my sweltering garage, surfing blogs, writing posts. Now we're older, and less cool than we thought we used to be but cooler than we've ever been. He's still my best friend, my brother from another mother.

I'm gonna quit too, J-Li. You do it first, you're stronger.

Oh, Canada!

Rock out with your cock out!

I'm seriously considering emigrating and I'm not even a Nancy Boy.

I just wish Canada would invade our sorry asses already so we could be a progressive grown up country, too. (They could just invade the North. Cut it off at the Mason-Dixon Line, and take Nevada and California, too. Then the US of A could go Ahead and become the US of JC and we could live in peace.)

Taxes, Smaxes. I pay $8400 a year just for health insurance. And that is with a 750 deductible.

Chuck E. Jesus is our Rock

So sayeth the 4 year old superboy.

So a couple of weeks ago I sent the kids to Vacation Bible School every morning for a week. And, while we as yet have not gone to church as a family, I really thought it would be good for them. While I dislike some Christians, what's not to love about Christ? I wish more people in the word were Christ-like. Including me.

Anyway, the theme of thew VBS was "Jesus is our Rock." We have many handmade crafts attesting to this fact. So when I bribed the kids to help me clean the house today in exchange for a trip to Chuck E. Cheese's (which worked amazingly well, file that one for later) Superboy said, "Mama, you know Chucky Jesus is our Rock?"

Maybe it's time for some more Christian education.

I am an asshole.

Of course, I thought it goes without saying:

God Bless the victims of the London Terrorism. God Bless their souls.

And the victims of the Tsunami. And the Victims of the American Terrorist Attacks.

I can only process so much at a time.

It's so much easier to worry about what's wrong with the inside of my own house, but isn't that the problem with us Americans?

I guess being raised free and relatively safe makes it harder for us to wrap our minds and hearts around all the suffering in the world. Which doesn't make it right.

I wish our country could have a leader to help us process all of this, instead of one who causes most of it. I wish we could have a leader that would say "Let's do this to make the world better. This is how we reach out to the world." Because, frankly, I don't know what I need to do, beyond my own four walls.

Off topic, for once.

I'm not sure if anybody noticed, but I think my posts to date have been excruciatingly boring.
I actually have my own mind, separate from the "housekeeper" but the grind of day-to-day-to-day keeps getting in the way. I have been surfing Blogexplosion lately, and have come across a number of very articulate political blogs. Note to self: start paying more attention to the world around me. Life is hardly about the mess I live in personally, it's about the mess we're all living in.

God Bless Jean Charles de Menezes. God Bless his Family.

God Save us All.

Fuck Lego

Yes, you, you stupid piece of plastic with your sharp edges and your microscopic dimensions, lying in wait within my carpet to bounce forth and embed your cheap ass into my foot.

Fuck Lego Indeed.

White it is..

Although it looked to be a soft green at the hardware store (and currently looks that way on my fingers) the paint in the laundry room is decidedly white.

I'm only halfway through the cutting in, though, perhaps the green will .. aw fuck it, at least it's clean.

Whilst prepping for the painting, I noticed that the mildew on the ceiling did, in fact, just wipe off.
I was sure it was a stain, as it was there when we moved in.

I could have avoided this whole painting fiasco a while longer if it had occured to me to just clean the ceiling at regular intervals. Ah, well. Live and learn.

Well, the bed got made..

The bedskirt is all wrinkly though....I was sure I bought a queen size skirt but it is way too big. Hopefully big enough for my king size bed I hope to have one day. The duvet is convertable for just that purpose. I couldn't get my files to fit in the desk (long story) so that bitch will just have to wait.
Laundry is almost all done. If I get a second wind I'll start scraping paint. Bastard idiots who owned this house before painted chalky flat latex over a glossy paint, so it's peeling anywhere the mildew isn't holding it up.
Right now I am going to make brownies and slushes with the kids so they'll go away and let me watch battlestar galactica (shut up) in peace.

If anybody is reading this, color suggestions for the laundry room? (don't say white)

Rainy Day At Last

Less sick today, ready to get busy.

It's the perfect kind of summer rainy day here at the Accidental House. Cool and windy, lots of wet, smells so clean. I love it. By the way, when you leave your carseats out in the driveway overnight, they might get wet, rendering you unable to take the kids out of the house at all.

SInce I am stuck here, I decided that I spend entirely too much time doting on the children (it's a good excuse not to get any actual work done.) So I decided I am leaving them to their own devices and actually getting some work done. I'm skipping kid baths today and letting them run around in jammies. That should save me a good hour.

So, without furthur ado, I present my Brain Dump:

First order of bidniss: Finish my bedroom. I am goin to lock those kids up so as to get my desk moved. I boiught a new bedskirt and sheet to go with my new duvet, and about 12 yards of muslin to make curtains out of. The curtains can wait til tomorrow, but the room will be done today.

Next: The laundry room. This room has needed painting since we moved in. Since the mildew on the walls has taken to greeting me in the morning and demanding coffee, I decided it is time. So I will get that room thoroughly cleaned out today and beg JOhn to move the washer and dryer tomorrow so I can paint. TOnight: Scrape. Saturday: Prime. Sunday: Paint and move things back. I better get the laundry done today.

That should be enough for today, if I don't get sidetracked. My stepkids will be showing up today sometime, so I will be able to use their slave labor on the rest of the house. Bwahahaha.

Sidelined, sidetracked

URGH. Influenza.

Damn germ-farm kids.

I am so tired, achly, snotty.

NOthing more happening here today, except perhaps a brain-dump and a new plan.

The best laid plans......

As often occurs, I have put my day on hold trying to get the baby to sleep. I have been negligent by way of routines, and now I am paying the price. I could shower while she's awake, but that would be too easy I guess.

As it's now 3:30 the odds of me getting anything else done while I wait for my elusive shower is highly unlikely.

TOmorrow's goal...
Shower before J leaves.

Sidetracked...

Since my last post I got sidetracked and started to clean the kitchen. (I am as far as I am going to get in the bedroom without J's help. I can't move that desk by myself with babies underfoot.) Then I noticed it was time to make the little's lunch. Grilled cheese and TOmato Soup.

I threw my toaster away. I bought it eleven years ago for my first apartment. It was white, but now it's kind of yellowy beige with melted bread wrapper on it. It cost twelve dollars. I am convinced I got my money's worth. So today, I am going to finish the kitchen counters, and work on the fridge and cabinets till baby takes a nap, during which time I will shower and prepare to go buy a new toaster. While I wait for the babe to awaken, I will put up the cookbook shelf I bought a week ago.

My reward today for all ths work will be my new toaster. Hoo HAW. Maybe I'll buy a breadbox and set up a toast station on the other side of the kitchen. That should relieve some of the breakfast making congestion in the morning.

Yes, it's an exciting life here at Accidental Housekeeper.

Step One..UPDATED 30 MINS LATER

Status Report:

Me: Still in PJs, Drinking coffee, overwhelmed Unshowered, dressed, smoke-break
Baby: In highchair, enjoying some canned carrots Running amok in living room
Super Boy: Playstation, downstairs, not making a new mess. Watching TV

Where to begin? Every room in this house needs serious attention. Did I mention my mother in law will show up at random for a long visit sometime in the next two weeks? Which is great in and of itself, but it's time to crisis clean.

As I don't know where to start, I am going to pop over to Flylady. net to see what this week's Zone is....

Ah, the master bedroom. Probably the least urgent of all Zones, but since I cannot decide for myself where to begin. I will start here. Maybe can get it done today. I did make several attempts last week to move my desk up there (as baby likes to get into it and it's just another mess waiting to happen.)

So my goals today:

Make bed (with my yummy new duvet that matches nothing else in the room) Done, in a half-assed sort of way
Put Clothes away. Done except for laundry downstairs
Move the rest of the desk in.
Put desk together (save sorting and organizing files for tonight when I have parental backup)
Clean Under Bed Done
vacuum
Dust
Find a way to re-attach air conditioner cover.
Move folding table out of room....this may wait til J gets home.

That should be enough for today. I am officially giving myself permission to let the rest of the house sit while I accomplish this goal. Children to be cared for as necessary.

I wish J had brought my camera home from work so I could post a humiliating "before" picture.
Oh well.

Now to get dressed and start working.

I am currently taking a smoke-break to prepare myself for the moving of the desk. Will be chaos for a while. I am making myself not check back in for another hour. I tend to waste a lot of my day smoking on the computer.

Here she is, the Accidental Housekeeper...

I am 31 years old, a returning student, and a mom who loves being a mom. I am, however, not a very good housekeeper (many of my friends and former roommates could attest to this.) Back in the days when it was just me in my stinky-ass apartment, this was fine. I just never had company, except for those few really close friends who knew what to expect from me.

Now that my primary job is that of nurturing children (my own and my steps) this has become an issue. I know children thrive in a well-organized non-chaotic environment. And I know, as fabulous as my kids are, they would be a lot happier and more secure if I could just get my shit together. Heck, I know I would be a lot happier and more secure if I could just get my shit together.

This is my journey to peace. I am starting college full time in exactly two months, at which point my fabulous nanny/friend/surrogate grandma will be taking charge of the babes five hours a day. I know the home will be a lot more peaceful with her around, but I need to get it back to a place she can work in.

Eight weeks. A baby and a preschooler, plus two school-age kids. Eleven rooms, plus a garage.
No skills.

I embark upon a my quest for peace and cleanliness.

Wish me luck.